i just want to text you and say that i miss you but now that you know how i feel, i just keep thinking it would be weird. i dont know how to act anymore. i keep thinking that if i text you, youll think im trying for something more..

I don’t know how I feel. Jake is amazing but after the ups and downs, I’ve just distanced myself. I don’t have strong feelings for nick, but he makes me laugh. So so much. I have fun with him. But he’s older, and has a life and a job and I’m leaving. I guess I should just focus on what I can. I have two great guys but neither is easy.

I don’t like him. I just like being with someone and all it comes along with. That way, I can fool myself into thinking it all works because jake is there through the phone and he’s there physically.

Honestly, I know I was warned about him, but it’s just fun. He’s nice and we have a good time together. Screw worrying about the rest. The only thing bugging me is thinking about what it would be like if he were jake